When He Ghosts You: What to Do When He’s Ghosting You
Most of us women are familiar with the term “ghosting”. However, for those of us who aren’t, it simply is a term describing a situation where a guy you’ve been going with suddenly disappears on you.
Things are going great one minute and the next, he’s 100% unavailable- no calls, no explanation, nothing!
No matter how strong you pride yourself, ghosting can and will hit you hard. You’ll wonder what you did wrong, when things started to fall apart, and how come you didn’t see it happening.
When he ghosts you, it can feel like the rug has been pulled from under your feet – literarily and you will feel lost for a while.
I’ve had my own fair share of ghosting and I felt all these emotions, including the two biggest of them all: self-doubt and self-criticism. However, I survived them, like women before me, and also learned some valuable lessons from all that pain, like the top reasons why men ghost women.
In the words of Dr. Natalie Jones PsyD, a man’s reasons for ghosting you most times have very little to do with you. She explains this is often a sign of his own attachment issues and emotional immaturity.
So, if a man ghosts you, instead of allowing yourself to be consumed by insecurities and self-doubts, here are solutions women put forward instead for dealing with the situation.
What to Do When He Ghosts You
1) Reach Out to Him to Find Out Why He Disappeared
Some people will argue that calling or texting when he ghosts you is synonymous with begging for his affection. However, this isn’t exactly true.
Unless you know the exact reason why he ghosted you, choosing to also keep quiet is conveying the notion you never really cared about the relationship.
He could be dealing with personal stuff that made him pull back and you want to be sure you don’t pull away at this time.
However, while you should reach out to him, you should give him a timeframe to respond to you and if he doesn’t, you know he actually was ghosting you.
2) Don’t Beg
Now that you are certain he truly is ghosting you, you can move on with your life.
Never beg for him to come back. Men always know what they want and if he’s decided that it’s not you, you don’t want to beg for him to take you back.
Doing so would likely be setting yourself up for a one-sided love relationship as you struggle to make things work.
3) Don’t Make Excuses for Him
Don’t make excuses for him and don’t sit around waiting for him to come back either.
Chances are he won’t be doing so anytime soon and you’d be cheating yourself of the happiness around you by doing that.
4) Understand He Did You a Favor
It might not seem that way right now, but if a guy can ghost you, then it probably means he wasn’t that into you or the relationship wasn’t meant to be.
You don’t want to be with a guy who isn’t that much interested in you when there are a few who would love to move the heavens for you.
And while this might sound clichê, you deserve better: a man who isn’t afraid of his feelings, and is willing to stick around.
5) Make Him Earn Your Trust
There are men who have ghosted a woman and then made their way back later. However, because he’s disappeared on you once, you will always have that nagging feeling it can happen again. And you wouldn’t be wrong. There are guys who will win Oscars for ghosting the same woman multiple times.
If he comes back, it would be a good idea to make him earn your trust before taking him back. You don’t want to open your heart to him quickly only to have him shatter it again.