11 Practical Ways to Get Over a Breakup in a Matter of Weeks
Anyone who has gone through a relationship breakup knows it is one of the worst emotional pain you can go through. The pain is so deep and so encompassing, it affects all aspects of your life, rendering you temporarily ineffective.
My last relationship breakup saw me holed up in my room for weeks, crying as the pain threatened to consume me. Of course, I went through all the classic stages of a breakup: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and then acceptance.
Time however, saw me healing completely, enough to move onto the next relationship, one that has been one of the best things to happen to me.
Sometimes, when we are at that stage of pain, all we want is an end to it. At that point, we’re ready to do anything; if our ex would only take us back so the mental and emotional pain stops.
Related: How to Breakup the Right Way
While, this would work, the solution would only be temporary as you both would likely breakup again, putting you through that same heart wrenching experience again.
Also, if you are in a relationship that, from all indications, looks like its heading nowhere but you’re afraid to call it quits as you fear the pain that follow a relationship breakup, you need not harbour this fear as every heartbreak pain can and does heal, given time.
If you find yourself in such a situation, here are some ways you can go about initiating the breakup without the accompanying pain:
How to Initiate a Relationship Breakup
1.Take the Time to Fall Out of Love with Them First
Choosing to look out for yourself in a relationship, especially one that seems doomed, is not a selfish thing to do. If anything, it is a smart way to shield yourself from a lot of the pain that would follow.
Since you know the relationship will breakup anyways, you should make things easier for yourself by falling out of love with your partner.
You should do this over a period of time, distancing your heart from him gradually until you get to a point where the breakup won’t hurt as much.
2.Give Them Subtle Hints You Want to Breakup
As you distance yourself, you should also give him subtle signs so he does the same, that way, he’s also not shattered when the relationship ends.
Do this by reducing the amount of time you spend together or the frequency at which you chat and with time, your hearts will start to grow distant from one another.
3.Breakup as Nicely as Possible:Always Face to Face
Once you ascertain it’s time to finalize the relationship breakup, you should do so as nicely as you can.
Insist on a face to face meet (this conveys some sort of respect for your partner which he likely will appreciate later on).
4.Always be Clear as to the Reasons for Your Breakup
Next, don’t breakup and leave it at that, tell him why you believe the relationship is breaking up, highlighting the parts you both played.
Inform him of your need for a breakup and watch his reaction.
5.If He Get Emotional or Violent, Understand This Can Happen and Handle It as Best You Can
While you can try to handle the relationship breakup as best you can, you can’t predict the outcome and things could get out of hand.
If he gets angry, try to calm him and explain why the breakup would be best for both of you. However, you might need to walk away if he starts to get violent.
6.Don’t Agree to Stay Friends Immediately
Never, ever agree to be friends immediately. This has never worked in anyone’s favour and you both won’t be the first.
Its always best to severe all ties with an ex so you both can get a chance to move on.
Return every property of his in your possession and request for yours. You might also want to temporarily block him on all social media platforms so you don’t get notifications of him that would undermine the job you’re doing trying to move on.
7.Start the Process of Healing
Once there’s nothing of his with you anymore, you truly are on your way to a healing from the relationship breakup.
How to Properly Heal from a Relationship Breakup
Now that the relationship is over, it would serve no purpose staying back reminiscing about what was and what could have been.
You should instead, channel that energy into healing from the breakup and these are some amazing and quick ways to get over a breakup:
1.Cry/Mourn the Relationship Breakup
You were with this person a while, and they were an integral part of you while you were an item. It just stands to reason that you would feel this separation a great deal.
After the breakup, cry if you feel the need to. Actually, you’ll find crying therapeutic and it will release some of the pent up emotion threatening to make you explode.
Cry in the morning, noon, at night if it makes you feel even the least bit better. You’ve earned the right to do so.
2.Cut Off All Ties Temporarily
As earlier said, cut off all ties temporarily, until you are 100% certain you can handle seeing him without falling apart.
3.Keep Yourself Busy
Keep yourself busy. The more you keep to yourself, the more you’ll think of him and this will greatly slow down your healing.
4.Find Some Support from Friends or a Group
Friends are great in times like this. Your friends will be more than willing to help you get through the relationship breakup. Accept the help they offer and also reach out to them when you feel overwhelmed.
If you don’t have friends or they are busy at this time, there are a few support groups for relationship breakup sufferers you could join. Here you’ll find people in similar situations or with similar experiences willing to offer the succour you desperately crave.
5.Never Go On a Rebound Relationship
One of the worse ways to get over a breakup is to go on the rebound as this is just like covering a wound up just so you can feel better temporarily If it isn’t properly healed, it will return.
Research has shown that nine times out of ten, a rebound relationship always fails, bringing with it a deeper, fresher pain.
6.Keep Yourself Busy to Take Your Mind Off the Heartbreak
Get busy to take your mind off him. Get involved in a project, request for more jobs at work, just do anything but sit in a corner and wallow in self pity.
7.Give Your Ex a Lot of Space
Give him a lot of space. Avoid places you both used to hang out or places you know he’ll be at, at least until you are sufficiently healed.
8.Play the Relationship and the Breakup Over in Your Mind to Find Put What Went Wrong, Then Learn From It
After a while, you should replay the relationship and the breakup over in your head to find out what went wrong.
Once you do, learn from it and then move on.
9.Give Yourself a Time Limit for Grieving
Set a timeframe for grieving; this could be a week, a month, or even three months. After this time, you should dust yourself up and not entertain any more breakup memories.
10.Get Rid of Everything That Reminds You of Him
Get rid of everything that reminds you of him, that includes pictures, letters, texts, emails, and gifts.
Send them back and throw them out of he fails to pick them up.
11.Take Time to Heal and be Whole Again
This is one of the best ways to get over a breakup. Take it one day at a time. Time is the greatest factor to healing from a relationship breakup. While you might not feel any great change, you’re actually healing with each day that passes.
Soon, it be a month, then three and you’ll look back and feel only a dull ache where that gaping wound used to be in your heart.
Things to Never Do After a Relationship Breakup
Here are some things you should never, ever do after a relationship breakup.
1.Never Call or Text Your Ex Begging to be Taken Back
Even if it kills you, please don’t do this, especially if he initiated the breakup. Doing this will only paint you as desperate and chances are you’ll only be pushing him away.
2.Don’t Go on the Rebound
I can’t help but repeat this again and I think I should do so one more time for emphasis: don’t rebound. It never helps.
3.Don’t deny the Pain
Accepting the pain is the only way you can heal. Own it and then heal from it.
4.Don’t Beat Yourself Up. Mistakes Happen
It likely wasn’t your fault. It takes two to make a relationship work and two to tear it apart.
Instead, learn the lessons that need to be learnt and move on
5.Don’t Stalk Him
Don’t stalk him on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter, you’d only be hurting yourself by doing that.
6.Don’t Make Dramatic or Life-altering Changes
Don’t make dramatic or life-altering changes at this time. You most likely will regret it layer on.
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