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5 Things You Should Expect When Dating a Broke Guy
Dating a broke guy is fun; exciting even, until the bills start coming. This kind of relationship starts out like every other; girl meets guy, there is that instant (or built-up) connection, sparks are flying and then you both fall into the relationship.
Of course, things go great for a while, but soon, reality sets in and you both start to face the harshness and restraints of a life with such financial lack.
Is dating a broke guy wrong?
I don’t think anyone decides to be broke out of choice. However, whether they chose this financial state or not, the fact remains that money is an integral part of any relationship.
First off though, let me state that there are a few kinds of ‘brokeness’:
- There’s the broke that happens when a guy runs into bad tines. Here he could lose his job or his business might hit bad times, etc.
- There’s another where he’s paying his way through college and has very little free cash left.
- There’s the broke that occurs when he’s just starting out in his career or just launched a new business and has sunk all into this.
- Then there is that broke that occurs just because a man is downright lazy or has questionable spending habits.
While all of these guys are broke, each will present with different scenarios in a relationship.
The last guy is the one you should be wary of (one shouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole) and the one who inspired this post.
As someone who has dated a broke guy (the fourth guy), I’m going to be infusing my personal experience into this post.
Now, while I know guys are different and no two relationships are the same, a relationship where you date a broke guy will have financial lack as a major part of it, so here goes.
5 Things You Can Expect When Dating a Broke Guy
1) You Would be Saddled with Most of the Bills
When you date a broke guy, one thing you would have to prepare for is picking up most of the bills.
You would be required to pick the tabs on dates or cover most utility bills of living together.
Of course, this doesn’t happen right away. If a broke guy has been burnt in the past due to his lack of finance, he will find subtle ways to hide this aspect of his life -at least up to the point where he no longer can.
2) You Might Even Have to Pick Up Some of His Bills
Since bills are no respected of person, a broke guy would still get his. You might find yourself “lending” him money more times than is healthy with promises to pay back that never happen.
3) Don’t Except Any Financial Help From His End
Even if he wanted to, he really can’t since he doesn’t have the means to.
When I dated a broke guy there were times I needed financial assistance and didn’t want to go the usual route of borrowing from the bank.
I felt borrowing closer to home would greatly reduce the amount of interest I had to pay back and possibly also give me a flexible payment duration.
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
Dating a broke guy means you are always broke yourself since you would be stretched thin trying to settle the bills of two adults.
4) His Ego Might be Larger Than Life
Most broke guys have fragile ego that needs to be stroked constantly to remain healthy.
Of course, every man’s core need is to be respected, especially by those he’s familiar with. However, the average broke guy, due to his financial state, demands a little more respect.
His ego might get in the way most of the time, making him act a certain way. It’s not impossible for a broke guy to feel disrespected in an otherwise normal situation and blame this treatment on financial state. You might find yourself needing to stroke his ego one too many times.
5) He Will Guilt-Trip You Most of the Time
Some, not all broke guys, also in the fourth category, come in a shade of grey that’s not too pleasant.
I’ve been in situations where my partner made me feel guilty for not giving him money when I had a little and he needed it. At such times, it didn’t matter if I also had a need that needed to be serviced; he wanted money and that was that.
6) Everyone Else is Responsible for His Financial State
Yeah, this one. A lazy broke guy blames everyone else but himself for his financial state. Don’t be surprised to even hear him move this blame as far back to occurrences in his childhood.
7) It Mostly Ends Badly
Of course, over time, it all gets too much. No one can survive under such a weight for so long and sooner than later, you will find yourself looking for a way out for your sanity’s sake.
What To Do When Dating a Broke Guy
After the initial high of the romance wears off and the reality of dating a broke guy sets in, here are a few things that would help you navigate this time of your life.
1) Find Out Why He is Broke
Knowing why your man is broke will help you decide your next course of action.
Finding out he’s broke due to a certain financial downward turn would be easier to handle than knowing he’s that way because he refuses to hold down a good job.
My ex left a good job because it wasn’t befitting of his status and another because his boss didn’t respect him enough.
For the latter, it went that the boss didn’t respect him he wanted a kind of respect that would have been impossible to get from a boss-employee kind of relationship.
While both situations would present with the same situation – him having no money – the firmer holds some hope and can be remedied.
2) Determine If He Does Have Good Potential
If your partner is determined and willing to change the tide, then the conclusion is that this is just a temporary state.
The next best course of action would be to work with him where possible in changing the narrative.
3) Set Some Ground Rules From the Get-go
While you are empathetic, you want to set some ground rules from the get-go and one of them is you wouldn’t be carrying more than your fair share of the financial responsibilities for longer than necessary.
It would be easy for anyone to become lax and complacent knowing there’s someone available to pick up their tabs. A little bit of tough love never hurt and it certainly wouldn’t start now.
4) Talk to Someone Sometimes
Have that one friend you can turn to when it all gets too much. The weight of dating a broke guy can get too much sometimes and you would need the shoulders of a trusted friend to help tide those times.
5) Help Him in Whatever Way You Can
Seeing your man put in the effort to be better can be one of the best things. It shows promise that he isn’t comfortable with the state of things.
You could help him in whatever way you can – from being there when he needs someone to talk with to linking him up with opportunities and even the occasional financial raise. You could also help him get his spending on track.
There are a ton of resources online that could help you here, or you could just both seek out financial help and you’d be amazed at how much your support would mean to him.
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Frequently Asked Questions
- Should you date someone who is struggling financially?
Dating someone who is struggling financially is tough. You would have to prepare to let go of a few things you have otherwise become accustomed to.
However, since love can find us anywhere if you find yourself dating a broke guy, you want to know where he falls into; is he is that way by choice or, if life happened. From there you can make the next informed decision.
- How does a woman feel when she dates a broke guy?
Overwhelmed mostly as you would be faced with a lot. Dating a broke guy comes with its own set of unique challenges and it’s worse if your man is that way by choice.
- Can a woman date a broke guy?
A woman can date anyone she wants, so long as there is sufficient interest on both sides. Should a woman date a broke guy? That would depend solely on her and what she feels she wants at the time.
- Should I date a guy who makes less money
Dating a guy who makes less than you shouldn’t be a problem, if he is confident, has other amazing qualities, and can take care of himself financially.
- Can money issues ruin relationships?
Money issues can and have been known to ruin relationships. It is one if the major causes of relationship break down and you want to have them sorted as soon as they rear.