Playing Hard to Get. The Pros and Cons
A few decades ago, playing hard to get was a thing. If anything, a woman who didn’t play hard to get was considered somewhat easy.
Women played hard to get in the belief it would boost their value and make the men who finally got them to cherish them a lot more.
However, in today’s dating scene, playing hard to get is not so readily embraced. There are mixed opinions on it, however, with the majority believing it is unnecessary and a complete waste of them.
How Women Play Hard to Get
For the concept of “playing hard to get” to come in, then the woman being pursued returns the man’s feelings somewhat, but disguises this and appears uninterested and aloof, spurring the man to intensify his pursuit.
To keep things interesting, she appears warm sometimes, just so she doesn’t discourage him into giving up, and just when he feels he’s finally up to something, she tones down the intensity of her emotions.
This back and forth game continues until she feels he has “proven” himself sufficiently and can now get his price.
The Pros and Cons of Playing Hard to Get
The Pro (s)
Playing hard to get is not such a bad thing, but only when done right. In this era of fleeting emotions and casual sex, it can be an effective tool for separating the wheat from the chaff.
Women who have mastered the game of playing hard to get can determine (to some reasonable extent) which guys are genuine and those just out for a good time.
Women know that in most cases, a man with an ulterior motive lacks the patience to overcome obstacles set in his path. If he feels a wall is taking too long to come down, he loses interest and goes on to the next game.
Women who play hard to get also believe it will make the man value them since people generally value what they spent a lot to get.
However, while this tool can work, it doesn’t always mean it produces the desired result every single time. Playing hard to get could also backfire and make you lose out on a great guy who feels you’ve got too much drama this early on in the relationship.
A research carried out found that there really is no proof a man will cherish a woman more because he had to jump through hoops to get her.
If anything, some men reveal they doubt the effectiveness of this dating strategy as it just portrays her as not being mature enough to be with.
Here Are Some Cons You Can Expect From Playing Hard to Get
1) He Might Lose Interest
More men than not say they lose interest instantly once it becomes obvious a woman is playing hard to get.
Men say a relationship is already hard work without the added baggage of a woman who plays games.
To some men, if she plays hard to get, then it is a sneak peek of what’s to be expected in the relationship and they just aren’t cut out for all that drama.
2) You Might be Scaring Interested Guys Away
Appearing uninterested and aloof always will likely portray you as someone with a lot of options. Guys who feel they woould need to wade through too many other guys to get you just might decide to save themselves the time and the hassle and go for a lot less complicated girl
3) You Might Attract the Wrong Type of Guy
Women who play hard to get find they attract a lot more of a certain type of guy; guys who love a challenge.
The downside to this is that a lot of these men might not really be interested in you as a person. They only love the thrill of the game and the feelings that come with finally “conquering” that field. It would be so easy for him to pull a disappearing act on you once the thrill wears out and onto the next game.
4) You Attract Avoidant-type Men
The way you attract men who are players is the same way you are likely to attract men who avoid commitment.
These men avoid relationships where they have to commit and be close to another and since, from your attitude, you have led him to believe you grow hot and cold at will, he will become comfortable with this relationship style.
Read Also: 16 Interesting Dating Tips for Women
Does Playing Hard to Get Work? The Verdict
Some men understand that for these women, playing hard to get is just a strategy to self-protect themselves from deceit and possible hurt and not as a means to inflate their perceived importance. Consequently, this quality is not such a turn-off, so long as she does it in the short term and gets serious when she realizes they are the real deal.
However, this is just a handful of men with the majority believing this game is a no-deal for them.
“If you want me, as I want you, then let’s both be mature enough to start something. You are not some trophy I have to sweat to get. That’s just plain stupid.” Ryan concludes.