7 Things to Know About Dating a Mama’s Boy
Women who are dating a mama’s boy or have dated one will tell you the relationship came with a few sets of extra challenges.
At each point in time, you would feel like you were with not just one, but two people with his mom running the show from the background. It can feel challenging, especially as you wouldn’t know what to expect each time.
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If you are planning on dating a mama’s boy or already with one, here are seven things you should know beforehand:
7 Things You Should Know About Dating a Mama’s Boy
1) He will always put her first
One thing you can expect when dating a mama’s boy is that you are never really number one with him; his mom will always come first in his life. He will prioritize her happiness over yours and even get offended if you as much as suggest he changes the status quo.
It would feel strange at first and you might even get a tad bit offended at this treatment. However, when you come to understand that his behavior is likely, not personal, but is just the way he’s used to operating, you might be less upset and more proactive about the situation
2) Her Opinions Matter A Little Too Much
Another hurdle you will face when dating a mama’s boy is that her views and opinions will reign a lot in your lives. Your man values his mama’s opinions – perhaps a little too much – and he will turn to her more times than is necessary, even for personal things.
Worse is the fact that if it ever came down to listening to one person’s opinion on an issue that affects you both, he would likely go with hers over yours.
3) He is Used to Relying on His mother for emotional Support
When dating a mama’s boy, you want to also understand that he may have become used to relying on his mother for emotional support. Getting emotional support from one’s mom is usually okay until you are about fifteen or so. He went to her a lot while growing up and failed to know when to pull back a little or draw the line.
There’s just something slightly off about a full-grown man who still relies heavily on his mama for emotional support. When he has to turn to her always for advice, and comfort or when he’s feeling overwhelmed, then this is a red flag.
4) He will try to turn you into her
Be prepared to not just be compared with her, but for him to also try to turn you into her.
Men who are this into their moms see her as the standard and will subconsciously try to turn you into her.
5) He will be indecisive most of the time
This man might also delay when it comes to decision-making. One of the factors that shape our character is the ability to make our own decisions and learn from our mistakes if they do occur.
A mama’s boy, on the other hand, is used to most decisions being put across to him and, consequently, lacks the confidence to make his.
Dating a mama’s boy means he will wait to run most if not all decisions through his mom before taking one.
At such times, his mom’s opinions, even if helpful, can seem intrusive and rub you off the wrong way.
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6) He will never truly be independent
Because this man is used to people making decisions for him, he will never come to fully trust his own decisions and judgments.
Depending on how severe his reliance on his mom is, this man will never truly be independent and this can become a major issue in your relationship.
7) He may struggle with conflict
When dating a mama’s boy, it’s important to understand that he may have a problem with conflict. It’s common for him to run away from conflict and he does this by giving in to people’s opinions and ideas too easily. If a disagreement arises, it’s crucial to be patient and understanding and to try to work through the issue calmly and respectfully.
Is it Worth It Dating a Mama’s Boy?
It can seem like dating a mama’s boy is all bad. Some people might even advise you to avoid such a relationship at all costs.
However, this type of relationship is not all shades of black as it does come with some benefits.
To be fair, the cons outweigh the benefits. It would be difficult being with a guy who puts someone else above you and also finds it hard taking decisions on his own. However, on the flip side, here are some benefits to dating a mama’s boy:
- Due to how close this man is to his mom, he can be more in tune with his emotional side, which means he’s likely to know how to love you the right way.
A few women struggle with men who appear withdrawn or do not know how to connect with them and wish things could be different. A mama’s boy is different and will likely love you the way you want to be loved.
- Experience has also found that mamas’ boys make for a good boyfriend or husband.
The years of having a positive relationship with his mom make him more empathetic, which can be a good thing later on.
How to Handle Dating a Mama’s Boy
Seeing how dating a mama’s boy is a two-edged sword, how then do you handle dating one?
Should you leave or should you try to manage the situation as best you can?
If your desire is to remain with your man, due to some other great qualities he might have, here are some ways you can manage the situation:
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1) Let him know how you feel
It’s possible your man doesn’t see himself as a mama’s boy nor understand just how deeply this is affecting you.
What you want to do is bring your feelings to his notice as calmly as you can.
Be prepared for him to deny this and even become somewhat hostile.
This shouldn’t stop you from mentioning it though and hope that he comes to understand you soon.
The thing is, he would see nothing wrong with a relationship he has cultivated all his life, and trying to point out that this relationship is unhealthy might not be taken so well.
2) Be Patient
A mama’s boy would need a hefty dose of patience when it comes to getting used to a new romantic relationship. For one, he might feel alienated from you when you point out the unhealthiness of his relationship with his mom.
For another, even if he does accept this, things might not instantly go the way you envision. He may be slow to open up to and trust you since his mother’s views and opinions have long since influenced his decisions.
3) Respect His Mother’s Place
When dating a mama’s boy it is important to note that his mom plays a key role in his life. Even if you are uncomfortable with how much influence she wields, it would be unrealistic to expect him to completely cut her off.
It might also be important to note that her coming to wield such a strong influence over him might have occurred naturally, and not from a need to control his life.
4) Set Clear Boundaries
While it’s healthy to respect his mom’s place in his life, you also want to set clear boundaries from the start.
You must let him know what you are comfortable with and what you won’t be accepting. You obviously won’t be comfortable with any comparison with his mother or any attempt to change you into her and you should have let him know this early on.
5) Encourage him to be more independent
This won’t go smoothly and you can expect some major opposition. However, so long as he’s willing to try, it should work out fine.
You want to start small and celebrate every small win to build his confidence.
6) Deal With Resentment Immediately
Any action that offends you should be discussed immediately. You don’t want to allow things to fester or they could grow into one big ball of resentment.
Frequently Asked Questions About Dating Mama’s Boy
- What are the characteristics of Mama’s boy?
One major characteristic of a mama’s boy is his strong reliance on his mom. While having a good relationship with your mom is healthy and even strongly recommended, a mama’s boy’s relationship with his mom crosses some lines to become unhealthy.
Other characteristics you can find in such a guy include his inability to make decisions devoid of his mom’s input, putting her first above you and the kids,
- What to know about dating a mama’s boy?
The one thing you should know wheen you want to date a mama’s boy is that his mom wields an unnaturally strong influence over him. He doesn’t have a strong will when it comes to her and will easily give in to her opinions and wants.
- Why is dating a mama’s boy a red flag?
A healthy relationship is one where both parties make the happiness of the other a priority.
A mama’s boy, on the other hand, puts his mom above everyone, including you and his kids, where they exist, and this can be a glowing red flag.
- Will a mama’s boy ever change?
A mama’s boy can change, however, this doesn’t happen often. Most mama’s boys believe the relationship they have with their mom is a healthy one and would see very little need to change it.
If you can get this man to recognize that his reliance on his mom goes beyond the ordinary and he should be more self-reliant at this age, you would have set the ball in motion towards affecting the long overdue changes.
- How do you separate a mama’s boy?
The goal should be not to separate the mom and her son but to have them cultivate a more healthy relationship.
Doing so starts with making your man realize whatever relationship he currently has is unhealthy and that he should work towards developing a more healthy one.
If you want to date a mama’s boy, you want to set clear boundaries, letting him know you won’t be putting up with any act that’s unhealthy.
If he loves you, he’s likely to also consider your opinions and do what is healthy for your relationship.
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