How to find a boyfriend

How to Find a Boyfriend (10 Surprising Tips That Work Always)

by Kamara
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How to Find a Boyfriend (10 Tips That Work Always)

Finding a boyfriend when you decide you want one can be a fun activity or a task that leaves you frustrated or even mending a broken heart.

A few years back, I decided to go on a two-year dating sabbatical. I’d recently come out of a bad breakup and knew I needed the time to heal. When I was finally ready, I set out on getting a boyfriend that would have all or most of the qualities I love in my man and I dare say I succeeded. 

If you are wondering how to find a boyfriend that will make you as happy as you do him, here are some tips that are known to help:

How to Find a Boyfriend in Ten Steps

1) Decide on the Qualities You Want in a Man

If you don’t list out the qualities you like your man to possess, then any guy that comes along would do. The danger to this is that halfway into the relationship, you could notice a huge compatibility difference.

There is very little point in investing your time and emotion in a relationship that would likely turn out to be rocky. You want a relationship that fits into your lifestyle, one where you both compliment and are there for each other, not one that would disrupt the peace and harmony you already have.

There’s also the fact that getting it right from the beginning will save you a broken heart and wasted time.

2) Keep Your Dating Pool Wide

A lot of guys might not have all the qualities you have listed down, however, they will have some other very good ones.

What you want to do is list down some must-haves, while other qualities on your list can be flexible. You have to be realistic in deciding your must-haves so you don’t end up with ones no one can meet.

You also shouldn’t be in a hurry to write off a guy for failing to have a quality. For all you know, he might be bringing a few more which, while not on your list, are equally awesome and you would come to fall in love with.

How to find a boyfriend
Young female keeps eyes closed to his boyfriend at home, while he is sitting on sofa with gift box, celebrating birthday

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3) Let Your Friends In on the Fact You Are Looking to Date

Some of the best relationships (we’re talking relationships that would put Romeo and Juliet to shame) have been ones set up by friends.

Personally, I know if I had a girlfriend looking to date, I would only match her with the most responsible of my male friends and also looking for a mate.

Friends most times have our best interest at heart and can be our eyes in the places where we never would have looked.

4) Become an Attractive Person

Everyone wants an attractive person. The way you have a list of qualities you would want your prospective date to have is the same way they have theirs.

The best time to work on your personality, if there is a need for it, is while you are listing out those qualities you also want in a man.

Some of the qualities men find attractive in a woman are:

  • Loyalty
  • Honestly
  • Calmness
  • Cleanliness
  • Caring
  • Creativity
  • Loving
  • Confidence
  • Optimism
  • Discipline
  • Intelligence
  • Genuity
  • Good looks
  • A sense of humor

Of course, this list isn’t set in stone and every man has his preferred qualities. However, you will find some are basic and you will always do good not to mention stand out when you possess them.

5) Improve on Your Appearance

If there’s a need for it. Men are physical creatures; they get attracted firstly to what they see, before getting pulled in by the attractiveness inside.

A lot of men also reveal they want a hot babe and you don’t have to go out of your comfort zone to attract a man, you, however, want to be the most physically attractive version of yourself.

If your dress style is sexy with a touch of class, then you want to ensure you keep this up. If however, you would rather be simple, then you should strive for beautiful simplicity.

6) Mingle a Lot

While it’s possible to meet a great guy, even from your bedroom, you stand a better chance when you go out and mingle.

There are a lot of terrific guys out there also looking for a great girlfriend and only when you go out on dates are you sure of meeting him.

Accept as many dates as possible until you find the one you connect with.

Shot of a young man giving a lady a kiss on the forehead outdoors (How to find a boyfriend)

7) Be Patient

The dating world is a jungle and you might have to kiss a few frogs before finally meeting your prince.

Sometimes, all it takes is one date to meet a guy you’ve got great chemistry with. At other times, you might have to wade through the waters of a few dates to get so lucky.

Hold Out on Sex

We all know having sex with a guy you hit it off with so well can be magical, but if you keep putting it out so fast, you might end up scaring even the best guys aware.

Men reason and analyze situations quite differently from women and if you have sex with a guy on the first date, he might interpret it as you being too easy (not all men do, but that great guy just might, making you miss out on a likely beautiful relationship).

There’s also the fact that’s all he might want from you, not a  relationship. No one loves being used and you want to be sure your partner is as genuine as you are before committing to the relationship.

9) Don’t Play Games

Men seem to have this sort of invisible network where they spread information fast. You don’t want to have a bad name attached to your person.

This is why you should never play games, even if others around you are.

II you have no interest in dating a guy, then there is no point stringing him along neither should you keep him as a placeholder until someone more to your taste comes along.

These things also come back to bite you, especially if you meet the wrong type of guy.

10) Take Your Mind Off It

You know how sometimes, some things elude you when you become so consumed with them? 

The same is true with dating. Becoming too obsessed with dating might see you becoming so desperate about it, so much so you start to make the wrong choices (yea, men can smell desperation a mile off and some will take advantage of it).

What you want to do instead, is make it a priority but live your lifetime by also giving other aspects of your life equal priority. 


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Bonus Tip

11) Be More Relaxed

This is especially helpful for ladies who love to dress up and look good always. Wearing attractive, designer outfits and accessories is great, however, it just might be scaring off some guys.

Even guys doing well for themself reveal they sometimes hold back from approaching some girls if they appear way out of their league.

Some guys reveal that somewhere at the back of their minds is the belief she might not be very receptive to him, seeing as she already gets a lot of attention from other guys or might be high-maintenance.

Every once in a while, you want to dress casually, even if you are also wearing these designer clothes to give guys who have had an eye for you a chance to approach you.

12) Appear Approachable

Men are suckers for smiles and laughter. They love a woman who appears warm and open and will always be drawn to such a woman.

Developing this aspect of your personality will always come in handy, not just relationship-wise, but in every other aspect of your interpersonal relationships.

Knowing the steps to take to find a boyfriend is one part, actually making yourself more visible is the second half of the piece.

How to find a boyfriend

What is The Best Place to Find a Boyfriend?

What is the best place to find a boyfriend?


There is no specific “best” place to find a boyfriend. Love can find you anywhere. The best you can do is increase your visibility so you find it faster.

How to Find a Boyfriend in Your Locality

Most women looking to date find this to be the best option for them. It’s much easy to find a boyfriend among friends you’ve known for a while or colleagues you’ve worked with for several months.

Here’s why this option works and comes strongly recommended:

You have been around this person for a considerable amount of time and therefore know their strengths as well as weak sides. It’s easier to analyze if they would make a great boyfriend or if you are better off as friends.

You’ll also find making the transition from casual friends or colleagues to lovers goes a lot easier. 

How to Find a Boyfriend Through Matchmaking

As already mentioned, this is one of the easiest ways to not just find a boyfriend, but to find a solid one. With this method, you know you are cutting through endless months of dating to find someone with qualities you like.

A mutual friend of yours does this matchmaking, matching you both based on qualities she knows you both are on the lookout for.

How to Make This Method Work for You

  • After letting your friends know you are looking to date, be as forthcoming about qualities you like and those that are deal-breakers. 

Even though your friend will already know a lot of these details, you want to make sure you lay everything plainly on the table just so there are no mistakes.

  • Be open-minded, even if your date doesn’t appeal to you physically. Physical attraction is great, however, you don’t want to rely too heavily on just this.
How to find a boyfriend
Top view of red heart in a house decorated with small hearts on wooden background. Valentine’s day. Home sweet home concept.

How to Find a Boyfriend Through Dating Apps

A lot of women have found success finding a great boyfriend via dating apps. This means is great if you are super busy and barely have the time to go on dates.

However, like most things, dating apps also come with their fair share of risks since sometimes, people are not always who they say they are.

To ensure you stay safe, here are some safety measures to follow:

  • Sign up only on reputable dating apps, ones that come highly recommended, especially by someone you know.
  • Avoid suspicious profiles. If your instincts tell you that something is off, then you want to go with this.
  • Where possible, do some light digging before agreeing to meet your date.
  • Insist on meeting your date in an open place, never at his or your home, not at a location he suggests.
  • Never leave your food unattended and you also shouldn’t drink too much.
  • Ensure a close friend knows where you will be. If possible, you should take a picture of your date or his plate number to be sent to your girlfriend. You want to however be discreet about this so you don’t come off as paranoid or put your date off.
  • Ensure you have transportation back or can arrange one easily.

Nine times out of ten your date will go great and he might turn out to be the one you’ve been looking for.

How to Find a Boyfriend in a Bar

Since bars are a great option for relaxing and socializing, especially after a hard day at work, lots of guys would be atund and it would be easy to meet someone of interest here. 

How to Make This Method Work for You

  • Become visible, this includes walking up to a shy guy that catches your attention to start a conversation. You could offer to buy him a drink and just get talking on interesting subjects.
  • Go with a winglady or guy. Your girlfriend can help spot out losers so you don’t waste your time. She’s also likely to distract his friends while you strike up a conversation with the object of your affection. 
How to find a boyfriend

How to Find a Boyfriend Online

Meeting a boyfriend online also works. You might meet someone on a Facebook group and hit it off immediately. A lot of relationships that start this way blossom into something beautiful.

However, unlike other methods where you’d be dating someone you’ve known a while, or someone who’s been vetted by a system, this method comes with some level of risks.

There’s no saying this guy you met on Facebook is exactly who he says he is, so you want to also exercise the same caution you would if meeting someone through a dating app.

How to Find a Boyfriend in High School 

Finding a boyfriend in high school is pretty easy, especially if you are a social butterfly. A good way to do this is to join a few extracurricular activities, especially ones where the boy you like is in. This will give you ample opportunity to spend time together and get to know a lot more about him.

You could also ask him out on a date and take things up from there.

If you are the shy type, then asking your friends for help also works. Your girlfriend can help things along by finding out if your crush feels the same or, if she’s close to him, put in a few good words for you to smoothen things along.

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