How to Breakup the Right Way…
Breakups are hard, even if you are the one doing the breaking up. It’s harder still on the one being broken up with, especially if it happened out of the blues.
Even when we don’t want or expect a break up, they happen and we get thrown into a cycle of hurt and pain that last for a while.
Here are Three Classic Reasons Why People Breakup
1.They Fall Out of Love with Their Partner
A guy you were crazily in love with a few years back could now be a stranger. People grow apart, especially when they don’t take the time to fan the embers of their love.
When this distance between them gets to the point where the relationship is no longer salvageable, the most logical course of action for the couple is to break up.
2.One Person Hurts the Other Terribly
There are deal-breakers in relationships – that line you cross that you can never come back from.
For some, it’s infidelity, for a few others it’s dishonesty and keeping secrets. Whatever it is, a couple might get to that stage where they breakup when one person commits this deal breaker.
3.Your Partner Doesn’t Appreciate You
It is also possible (and happens quite often) for a partner to initiate a break up if their partner doesn’t appreciate them.
You give the relationship your all, but your partner takes you for granted.
Eight Ways to Breakup the Right Way
While you both will experience some pain after the breakup, there are ways you can lessen the blow and reduce the heartbreak pain you both will feel if you do things the properly.
Breaking up the right way might also give room for a kind of friendship to exist between you both (much later).
Here are eight less painful ways to breakup with someone:
1.Let Your Partner Know You Would Like to Breakup
I have heard people advise you break up with your partner as soon as you have that thought in mind. However, this might not be the best of advice as you most likely would hurt your partner if you broke up this way.
For one, the relationship might still be salvageable and breaking up so instantly would put paid to this. For another, if you did this, you would be breaking up with them out of the blues and your partner might get thrown into shock.
The best way to breakup would be to let your partner know you both need to end the relationship, even if you both may not to at that time.
2.Be Sure That is What You Really Want
You should also be fully certain a break up would be the best course of action for you both before initiating one.
There have been cases where couples broke up, came back together and broke up again. This happened five times a a particular couple before they finally went their separate ways.
All through the period of breaking up and coming back together, this couple would have experienced some roller coaster emotion that could have been prevented if they’d only been sure they really wanted to breakup.
3.Carry the Breakup Out in Person
No matter how short a relationship was, everyone deserves the respect of being broken up with in person.
Granted, some people choose to breakup with their partner through texts or email as they’re trying to avoid whatever emotional breakdown might occur, however, doing so only shows you never truly regarded your partner.
Call your partner over the phone and let him know you both need to talk. Let your tone of voice be gentle, but serious enough to convey to your partner the issue to be discussed is a weighty one.
If you’d both been having series of issues prior to the call, he would get an inkling of what the meeting is about and how it would likely end.
4.Choose a Neutral Place to Breakup
It’s also recommended you choose a neutral place to intimate the breakup. Choose a place that’s outside your place as well as your partner’s, but one that’s not too public to cause your partner any embarrassment from the breakup.
Also, when you meet do not go straight to the breakup. You should try to prepare your partner’s mind before the unpleasant news.
5.Give Your Partners the Reasons Why You Want to Breakup
Don’t just drop the bombshell you want to breakup and leave your partner hanging, wondering what they did wrong.
It’s always best to state what went wrong with the relationship and what parts you both played.
Telling your partner his faults in this gentle way will make them know the breakup wasn’t entirely their fault and likely help them avoid those mistakes in subsequent relationships.
6.Do Not Throw Accusations Around While Giving the Reasons
While you’re stating the reasons, do not throw accusations as that could make your partner defensive or worse, angry.
State the problems with the relationship and why a breakup would be the best course of action for you both and leave it at that.
7.Understand They Might be Hurt and Lash Out
Even if you try to be as gentle with the breakup as possible, understand your partner might still get emotional and lash out.
Even if they expected the breakup, the reality of it would cause them to lash out, intent on causing you as much pain.
As much as possible try not to lash out back and instead, leave that vicinity if you can.
Your ex would calm down after sometime and come to accept the breakup as a reality.
8.Cut Off All Ties Completely
After the breakup, understand you will go through some pain as you were emotionally attached to this person for some time.
You might also get to a point where you’d want to reach out to your ex as you miss them or just to find out how they are. Doing so however, would only be prolonging your pain, especially if you have no plans of ever getting back with your ex.
It’s always best you cut off all ties with your ex completely for at least three months, especially on social media. You might need to be a bit cruel and block them on all social media platforms.
Your ex might also reach out to you as they would likely be feeling just as bad as you are and looking for every means necessary to end the pain.
Again, while it might seem cruel, it would actually be kinder not to pick her call or respond to her.
You should give yourself time to slowly heal from the breakup, with no contact whatsoever and with time you’ll be fine.