Desperate for Marriage: 5 Things Every 30+ Lady Eager to Settle Down Should Know about Marriage and Desperation
Some years back I turned 30 and so began my desperation to settle down. I woke up one fine morning and realised I was the only single lady left in my click of friends. Even cousins way younger than I was had tied the knot and one or two was even nursing. Of course, it also didn’t help that we live in a society that places so much importance on marriage, especially for a woman.
As a woman, you could be high-flying in your career and make a ton of money, however, you’d be regarded with very little importance or respect until you walk down the aisle.
This is the time when well-meaning aunties in their bid to “help” the situation mount pressure on you. They ask when you’re settling down or if you’re too selective which is keeping you single. The bold ones among them would actually come out to suggest prayer programmes for single sisters and give you testimonies of ladies who had attended such programmes and gone on to tie the knot.
All these stories, along with the pressure likely coming from your worried mother and a few other close relatives around you can all add up to turn you into one big ball of anxiety, depression and desperation.
Most of us over-30 ladies have been there; we went through that phase and know just how unpleasant this time of a woman’s life can be. We also know that no matter how frustrating this trend is, it is not about to stop anytime soon.
The pressure will remain and more and more ladies will be pushed into making one of the most important decisions in life all under pressure.
However, there are a few things out about marriage desperation every young lady over 30 needs to know and you can find these in
Desperate for Marriage: 5 Things Every 30+ Lady Eager to Settle Down Should Know
1. Most Marriages Entered Into Out of Desperation Hit the Rocks Sooner or Later
From research, a lot of the marriages entered into out of desperation crumble a few years into the marriage and the reason is not far-fetched.
For a lot of these women blinded by desperation, they were willing to put up with anything that came their way while dating, all in the bid to be seen as resilient and marriage-worthy.
It is cringe-worthy to know these ladies wouldn’t put up with half these treatment if they were still in their 20s but do so all for the reward of marriage.
They see themselves as a kind of martyr and the maltreatment they received as a measuring stick to their fitness as wives.
2. No One Follows You Into the Marriage
You will be surprised to find out all those who used to mount pressure on you to get married disappear right after the marriage and you are left to paddle your canoe yourself.
God help you if the man you just married turns into a frog and you are left to kiss one the rest of your life.
Being in a super religious society which strongly frowns at divorce, most people you talk to would tell you to pray about tour issues and even go as far as recommending you watch War Room, a movie on a wife overcoming life and marital crises through prayers.
3. You May Meet the Right Person Later On
This is the stuff romantic movies are made of, but it does still happen in reality. There have been a few cases of kadies who rushed into marriage only to meet the the right person some months to a few years later.
You don’t want to be this man or woman.
Read Also: 6 Ways to Stop Being Desperate for Marriage
4. Your Man Might Treat You Poorly Later On
Yes, there are still those man who believe a woman instantly becomes demoted the moment she gets married to them and should be treated as a sub human.
There have been women who, in their desperation to get married, ended up with such men.
5. You Might Have Been Lied to About the True State of Marriage
Marriage is beautiful when you find the right person, and it can also be hell on earth with the wrong one.
Not all marriages are happy and some people will portray a happy front that isn’t real. To these people, marriage is a must and everyone should end up in one. It doesn’t matter if you are happy in it; it is what it is and you will learn to live with it like they are.
These are the kind of people that will mount pressure on you the hardest, the kinds that will protest the loudest if you insist on waiting still for the right person and time.
Again, marriage is a beautiful union of two souls, but if you rush into it, you might likely get tied to a soul that isn’t quite for you and spend the next several years wishing you’d done this differently.
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