Can dating help you move on? Dating right a breakup is a two-edged sword. Should you get involved in it? See what experts think
Can Dating Help You Move On When Hurting From a Breakup? See What Experts Say
When hurting from a breakup, you’d do just about anything to make that pain go away. It’s worse if the breakup is fresh and you got dumped. At this point, you are vulnerable and open to any idea, even the popular one of getting right back on the horse with someone else. But, can dating help you move on? Is it the right course of action to take in this situation?
Dating after a breakup offers a distraction from the pain and insecurities a breakup brings. However, it could also do you in worse than you were.
Take Time to Heal
A breakup is painful, even if you were together for only a short while. It is the separating of two lives that have become intertwined and you can expect to feel a range of emotions, including feeling lost, and broken. Your self-esteem might also take a beat and you can’t sweep all these under the carpet, believing they will go away if you ignore them long enough.
Take the time to heal and this includes pushing everything that reminds you of your ex and your time together to a place where you aren’t likely to see them
Also, you don’t want to rush yourself before you are ready. There is no fixed time for when a person should be over the worse pains of a breakup. If it takes you a month to do so, then this is fine, however, you also shouldn’t fret, even if it takes you a year.
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Reflect on Why the Relationship Ended
Did the relationship end because you both were incompatible? Was there some traces of infidelity? Or did one person err and the other found it too much of a deal breaker to stay put?
These, and many others, are some of the reasons why a relationship suddenly ends. What you want to do, is sit down to reflect on the part you played in the breakdown, if any.
It’s not always the case that both parties contribute to the breakdown of a relationship and if that is the case here, you should learn whatever lessons can be picked up here, so you can prevent this in the future.
Related: Breakup Rules: What to Do After a Breakup (6 Proven Tips)
Focus on Self-care and Self-love
If your self-esteem has nose dived, even if just a bit, then the focus right now should be how to get it back to healthy levels.
At this point, you should concentrate on self-love and self-care. Self-care is never selfish and your mind, body, and soul will always thank you for it.
Be Sure You Are Completely Over Your Ex
This right here is the main reason why you should never date someone new right after a breakup. Can dating help you move on? The clear answer to this is no.
You are much too raw at this point and not making that decision from a place of good judgment.
The basis of the new relationship would be to get over your ex using an innocent guy, an action you wouldn’t want to be done to you if the tables were turned.
There’s also the fact you would be moving into your new relationship with way too much baggage. Not many relationships can survive the onslaught and strain of such a weight and you would be giving this new relationship very little opportunity to thrive and succeed.
Talk to a Friend
If you are finding it difficult to get through those first few weeks, when you would feel the pain deeper, then talking to a trusted friend could help
Time might heal all wounds, but you don’t have to suffer under the full weight of the pain while you wait to heal.
Halve the pain by sharing to feel lighter. In doing this, however, you should pick someone who wouldn’t get tired of being the shoulders you lean on after some time.
Related: 9 Post-breakup Mistakes Women Make and Why You Should Avoid Them
Take It Slow
When you feel sufficiently healed to try dating again, take it slow. Don’t jump in with both feet expecting to meet Mr. Perfect right away.
At first, going on dates should be a way to change scenes and have fun. The focus here should be on getting back into the dating scene, not dating immediately.
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Give Dating a Shot Again
When you do find someone you connect with, give it a shot. Now, you would be approaching this new relationship with a clean board.
Also, while it’s easy to harbor some fear about your new man and relationship, you don’t want to hold onto this. It’s smart to take things slow and let the new relationship prove itself; you want to avoid putting it through unnecessary tests.
Frequently Asked Questions
- Does dating someone else help you get over?
Can dating help you move on? Dating someone right after a breakup offers some much-needed distraction from the pain. However, the unhealed hurt and baggage almost always work to suffocate the new relationship.
You could end up with another breakup right after the first and suffer the pain afresh.
- How do you get over an ex you still love?
Getting over someone you still love is hard, but it can be done.
The first step to forgetting him is understanding that time heals all wounds. Time will dull the memories and images of your ex.
However, while you wait for this you want to speed things along by being deliberate in erasing those memories.
You should do away with every item that connects you to or reminds you of him. You also want to desist from reaching out, even if you do get the overwhelming desire to do so. You might also need to block his access to you, at least until you can have a conversation with him without hurting.
- Will feelings for an ex ever go away?
Yes, time ensures this, and someday, in the future, you will look back to realize you don’t feel love anymore for this person.
- What not to do after a break up?
Never beg for your ex to take you back (if they don’t, you will feel worse), don’t get overly active on social media trying to show anyone who might be watching that you’re fine, don’t stalk your ex, mourn the loss of the relationship, but don’t stay in that state for too long. and lastly, don’t swear off dating completely. There are still a number of good men out there.
- Should I block my ex if I still have feelings?
This might be the best course of action if you find updates in your feed are getting to you and preventing you from moving on.
Recommended Reading
How to Breakup the Right Way: 8 Genius Tips for Breaking Up Correctly
14 Signs Your Ex Still Loves You
7 Signs You are Ready to Start Dating Again
8 Quick Ways to Get Over a Relationship Breakup
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8 Quick Ways to Get Over a Relationship Breakup
Relationship breakups are the pits and anyone who has gone through one knows how debilitating they can be. You feel like your whole world has come crashing and the sense of loss it brings is so profound you feel like dying, literally.
Love is a beautiful feeling, but sadly, like most things in life, it sometimes comes to an end. A relationship that started out so great with two people who seemed like they were made for each other, may suddenly go south with one partner initiating a breakup.
My very first breakup was quite tough on me. I couldn’t believe that level of pain existed and that any one person could go through it. It also didn’t help finding out my partner never had any love for me.
The pain that accompanied this breakup immobilized me as I became somewhat less useful to myself for several months.
I have gone through a few more breakups and borne the heartbreaks bravely, and with each one, I have learnt a thing or two and come out stronger on the other…more