7 Signs You are Ready to Start Dating Again
Every single break up you go through will hit you hard, no matter how much you pride yourself on being tough. First cuts are the deepest, yes, however, every other breakup will hurt no less.
With each, you will go through the classic stages of breakup pain:
- Denial
- Anger
- Depression
- Bargaining and
- Acceptance
Each breakup will take a different duration to heal, and this will leave you wondering if you are ready to start dating again.
While we all wish there was a manual we could consult to tell us when we are sufficiently healed to jump right back into the dating pool, sadly, we have to rely on intuition for this.
However, if you’re ever in doubt, these
7 Signs Will Let You Know When You are Ready to Start Dating Again
1) You No Longer Lock Yourself Up in the Room
The first few weeks after a breakup are the toughest, right after the shock wears off, and it sinks in you, and your ex are no longer an item.
Depending on who called things off and how emotionally invested you still were at the time it happened, it can feel like you just had a rug pulled from right under you, leaving your world spinning on its axis.
However, like most things, this too will pass and when you get to that stage where you no longer want to curl up in bed in the same pajamas you’ve worn for several days at a stretch, then you know things are looking up, and you are well on the road to start dating again.
2) You No Longer Stalk Your Ex on Social Media
This is a classic that happens after a fresh breakup, and most of us will admit to having done it at least once or twice.
However, when you no longer feel the overpowering need to look up your ex on Facebook to find out what they’ve been up to or who they’re currently seeing, its usually a good sign you are well on your way to healing.
Related: How to Breakup the Right Ways
3) You No Longer Think of Your Ex with Such Hurt and Bitterness
Even after several weeks, thoughts of your ex and flashes of memories you both shared will still slip into your mind. If these are coming with bitterness or a longing for what was, then you might want to take a step back, give yourself a breather, and a wide berth from the dating scene.
4) Thinking of Someone Else Makes You Excited
Your ex might have been everything at a point in your life, but given time, someone else will occupy this sweet spot.
With each day that passes, you will find thoughts of your ex receding and the pain these thoughts bring fading, to be replaced by visions of someone special.
Thoughts of this new guy will leave you excited and give a whole new meaning to the phrase,
“It’s never too late for a new beginning in your life.” — Joyce Meyers
5) You Don’t Compare the New to Your Ex
If you compare every new guy you meet to your ex, and they seem to pale in comparison, then it is glaring you’ve still got a thing for your ex and aren’t quite ready to start dating again.
Doing otherwise would be rebounding, and research has found that nine out of every rebound relationships fail within three months.
Read More: 11 Funny Breakup Lines That Will Crack You Up
6) Life Seems to Take On a Whole New Meaning to You
When you wake each day with a zest for life and enough energy to take on the world (well, not exactly the world, but so much energy to keep things moving), then you can conclude you are a brand new woman.
7) You’ve Decided to Date Again for the Right Reasons
Lastly, if your reason for dating again isn’t because your ex has found someone new and you want to keep from feeling like you lost, or you need a new man to channel the hurt through, then you know you aren’t ready to hit the dating scene just yet.
How to Start Dating Again After a Painful Breakup
Now that it’s established you are ready to start dating again, it might be a good idea to take things slow at first and try to rediscover yourself fully.
A few tips that always help to get things right back on track include:
1) Clear all Baggage
Even with the hurt and the pain gone, there might still be some baggage; a few lose loose that might need tying up.
You want to make sure you drop every baggage; find closure to any wound if need be, so you don’t end up saddling the new relationship with unresolved weight from the past.
2) Rediscover Old Hobbies and Interests
Your entry into the dating world might not be a smooth one, especially if you took a long while off. You may feel clumsy at the beginning, not knowing what the new rules of dating are and if you should even pay attention to them.
It is always a good idea to get back into things doing what you love and are used to. You should concentrate more on being yourself and having fun.
Rediscovering old interests and hobbies would be a good idea to get your mind off dating and like they say:
” Love most times comes when you aren’t looking.”
3) Be Optimistic About the Future
Some people want to protect themselves from repeat pain after a terrible breakup and will put up barriers in the face of anything that looks like it.
However, being optimistic about the future is more likely to bring good desires your way. Research has shown that like a magnet, the heart attracts what it thinks of the most. You want to concentrate only on post
Read More: 7 Great Ways to Find a Boyfriend
4) Identify Guys that are a No-no
Before you start dating again, it would be a good idea to draw up a list of qualities you want in your next mate, so you know to identify them when you see them.
Tick off your deal breakers and your grey areas, so you know to avoid men with the former when you see them.
5) Be Friendly
Be friendly to everyone; meet every guy with an open mind. Again, the idea is to be yourself, have fun, and love will come knocking.
6) Try New Ways of Meeting People
If you aren’t meeting the kind of guys you’d like to date, try switching things up a bit to see the outcome.
Try out new and exciting ways of meeting guy; sign up on a dating site, put words out (to your close cycle) you are looking to date again, attend meetups, just ensure you are putting yourself out there to see and be seen of potential prospects.
7) Investigate Every Spark
Love might not come the way you are used to. That quiet geeky guy you always ignore, but who is obviously carrying a torch for you just might be The One.
Love doesn’t always come in the package we want or are used to, and several people have opened their hearts to an unusual love and gone on to have the best love story of their time.