Do you remember the last time you fell in love? I’m sure as with most people, it happened when you least expected and probably with someone who started out as just a friend.
True love exists, but is hard to find. Some people report meeting this great guy or gal and try as they did, they just couldn’t seem to fall in love with them.
This may seem to unfair, but love experts have found that true love remains ever elusive, choosing only to shine its light on us when we aren’t looking.
Now, while this emotion has been touted as being hard to find, it has been known to come when you practice these five steps.
Five Things You Must do to Find True Love
1. Take Your Mind Off Getting a Partner and Focus on Yourself
While in the university, there was this really pretty girl in my faculty who just had to have a man in her life. She acted like she was incomplete and would die without one. Luckily, the men came, and in droves too. The sad part of this story is that they left just as fast as they came.
One bad thing with wanting to have a partner so badly is that you become anxious and desperate. And while most of us women may not know this, men can sense desperation and it is a huge turn-off.
When this happens, you’ll start to wonder why a man that was so into you a few weeks back and called you everyday is now cold and beginning to withdraw.
This is because most men who come to you want just want to get to know you at first. When you become desperate, you tend to want to force things along too fast so you get to that true love part and this can seem unreal or become too much pressure for the man.
Instead of wanting a man so badly and forcing love, take your mind off getting a partner and focus on yourself. Re-learn what makes you tick and get to fall in love with yourself over again.
Take yourself out on dates and spoil yourself silly or just have a girls night out with other friends. Men find a women who loves herself and is confident in her own skin and company as attractive and this is when they will come to you in droves.
2. Examine Your Reason for Wanting True Love
Examine why you want to have a partner in your life. Do you want a partner because you are lonely, because you need sex and intimacy, because your friends all have relationships, because you want the financial security dating that rich guy will give, or as a self-esteem boost?
Some women believe if they can just start a relationship, everything else will fall in place and the love will come later.
However, this is a gamble that most times do not turn out the way we want. Nine times out of ten, this kind of relationship hits the rock and the true love you seek shifts further away.
Also, unless by mutual consent, it is also considered really unfair and selfish dating someone because of what you stand to gain from the relationship and sooner or later, they will find out your real motive and pull away.
Read Also: How to Get Over a Breakup Really Fast
3. Be Open-minded and Understand He May Not Come in the Package You’d Expect
One of the best relationships I’ve had has been with a guy I never would have thought would turn out to be so great.
I mean, we all have out specs (that kind of guy you would love to be with) and when we meet someone who doesn’t fit this bill in any way, we tend to overlook them.
Sadly, most true love stories have been lost due to this.
Women who have relaxed their criteria and learnt to give every guy that comes their way a listening chance, have gone on to experience some of the most beautiful love stories, one that would give Romeo and Juliet a lot for its money.
This is in no way advocating you lower your standard and just give every Tom, Dick, and Harry a chance, but you might want to be more receptive and give them a listening ear for you never can tell if your true love would come wrapped in an unusual package.
4. Give Out Love to Everyone
Sometimes to get, we have to give and love experts have found that some of the people with the best love stories are people that gave out so much laughter and love, they attracted the same right back to them.
Everyone wants to be around that man or woman who always has laughter on her lips and a nice word to say to you.
5. Learn to Trust and Give Everyone the Benefit of Doubt
I was hurt pretty badly one time and for a long time afterwards, I saw every guy who came my way as out to hurt me.
I would clam up when they tried to get close and lash out if they made a seemingly hurtful mistake.
Needless, to say, news got around and guys gave me a wide berth for three years. It took me making the very conscious decision to be different to break this cycle.
It’s likely you’ve also been hurt before, but while wanting to protect yourself from being hurt again is smart, choosing to remain in a shell and close your heart to every guy will only make it much harder to recognise true love when it comes.
By all means, protect yourself. But you might also want to find a spot in your heart that trusts still despite the uncertainty; one that will give everyone the benefit of doubt and a chance to prove they are real.
True love is real and it will come to you if only you can take the risk and make the very conscious effort to find it.