21 Signs Your Ex is Pretending to be Over You
Why would anyone pretend to be over an ex? Breakups are hard, no matter what side you happen to be on and people have different ways of handling theirs.
There are so many reasons why someone might pretend to be over their ex: from a way to self-protect, conforming to social pressure of keeping up a tough front, to trying to save face, and even from a fear of rejection. Pretending to be over an ex might seem silly to some people, but to others, it makes moving on a little easier.
However, it can be hard to decide if your ex is pretending to have moved on from the breakup or if he truly has.
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If you are wondering, here are
21 Signs Your Ex is Pretending to be Over You
1) They are angry with you
One of the most obvious signs your ex is pretending to be over you is that they remain angry with you for a long time, especially if you did the dumping.
Being angry with an ex is a stage of grieving. When people don’t expect a breakup they usually go from disbelief/denial to anger, bargaining, depression, and then acceptance. How long a person stays in each stage would depend on a lot of factors.
However, most people are usually over the stages and down to acceptance in a few months.
If your ex stays angry for long, then this could likely mean he still has some feelings for you but is pretending not to.
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2) He sends mixed signals
Alongside being angry and distant, your ex could also be soft and emotional the next minute, especially when he gets overwhelmed.
These opposite emotions – hot one moment and cold the next could leave you confused as to the true state of his heart.
3) You catch him checking you out
This is as clear as water, especially if you work in the same environment or find yourself in closed proximity often for some reason.
Your ex might have let in that he’s over you and moved on, however, because love is a strong emotion, he might let his guard down sometimes and give you those longful looks, without even being aware he is doing so.
If you catch him doing this, then be at rest as this is one of the signs your ex is pretending to be over you
4) He keeps in touch
He calls you today to see how you are faring and then a week later he’s again up with another excuse to keep in touch, yet he swears he’s over you.
Even if he doesn’t call with such an obvious reason as wanting to check up on you, the fact he is reaching out at all, and often too, shows there still are some emotions left on his part.
5) He starts dating immediately
This right here is a tricky one. You can’t, with all certainty, say this is one of the signs your ex is pretending to be over you.
Life happens; people fall in love with others while still dating their partner and if that relationship breaks up, this gives them the freedom to date their new love interest.
Where this becomes a sign, is when your ex starts dating immediately, but it’s obvious his heart isn’t in the relationship. He might be all over her, showering her with affection, but these usually lack depth, and everyone but himself can see this.
He might also try to rub it in your face and this is when you can be sure the relationship is superficial.
6) He acts tough
This happens when your ex feels he has to put up a tough facade for some reason. Sometimes, he could be trying to save face if you’ve moved on with someone else and he doesn’t want to appear stuck or if he fears rejection from you.
Whatever the case, you usually can see through this veneer to the true state of things.
7) He tells everyone he is over you
Looking for more signs your ex is pretending to be over you?
He’s broadcasting to everyone who cares to listen – and also to those who would rather not – that he’s over you; done and dusted.
However, it feels like he’s trying to convince himself here because his words and actions do not align. While he tells everyone one thing, it’s obvious to all that he still carries the torch for you, even if he can’t see it himself.
8) He holds onto your stuff
Looking for more signs your ex is pretending to be over you? Here’s another one right here.
Usually, you would expect that he would be eager to hand over your stuff and collect his once the relationship ends, but if he’s not doing this and it’s obvious this is deliberate, then you want to look closer into his reason.
9) He tries to sabotage you
He could also try to sabotage you if he finds you going with another guy. He’s not over you and the thought of you with another guy won’t be a pleasant pill to swallow.
10) He’s all over social media
He’s suddenly all over social media, trying to be seen and heard over the usual noise. Social Media is home to many people and if you are a social media buff, then this is the first place he’s likely to visit.
He tries to stay active and visible in a bid to show you he’s doing fine and has moved on just good. However, because his act are a little too much it would be easy to see his actions for what they are.
11) He accidentally runs into you
Of course, this happens ‘accidentally’ the first time. Then it happens again, and again and then it becomes obvious something is up here. It’s either he running into you ‘accidentally on purpose’ or the fates are trying to align your paths.
And we both know it’s not the former.
12) He stays single for long
Staying single doesn’t exactly mean one is pretending to be over an ex, but it could be, depending on a few things.
Your ex could be unable to move on with someone else but hides it behind his lack of interest in another woman.
13) Your guts tell you so
You would know deep down that no matter what front your ex tries presenting, he isn’t as over you as he says.
If you are looking for more signs, then this one already exists. You likely just need a few more to confirm what your guts already know.
14) His new girlfriend hates you
And for obvious reasons. Since we naturally know these things, his new partner would know he isn’t completely over you irrespective of what he says.
Since you are her rival, be prepared to be faced with some level of envy and hostility.
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15) He drunk texts or calls you
People are more truthful when drunk. Their inhibition and self-control also go down several notches and they reveal the true state of their heart.
If your ex has been pretending to be over you all along, a drunken episode might bring this pretense to a temporary half.
However, if he isn’t in the habit of drinking or getting drunk then didn’t expect you’ll be seeing this sign.
16) He stalks you on social media
Beyond being active in a bid to ‘show,’ you he’s fine without you, your ex could also stalk you on these platforms.
We’ve all seen situations where an ex who was stalking accidentally hit the like button while you were online and it was too late to take it back.
17) He brings up past memories
Your ex could also dredge up past memories from time to time and that’s because he’s finding it hard to let go of them.
18) He tries to find out stuff about you
He could also be asking around about you; since he’s no longer in touch the only way to find out how you are is to do so from those who see you often.
If he’s denied still being into you, this is one of the signs that would give him out.
19) He fails at being indifferent
He might try acting indifferent and pull this off, but only sometimes. Once in a while this front slips and then you can tell that he isn’t as indifferent as he wants everyone to believe.
20) He tells you he is over you
He says he is over you. Over and over again. You’d have believed him too, after all, he looks like he means it, then other signs spring up to betray his actions.
21) He keeps going back to why you broke up
It’s hard to move on. He keeps revisiting the breakup and why it happened. He could be doing this for a few reasons including trying to find out if the breakup could have been prevented.
When you notice this, rest assured your ex is far from being over you.
What to Do If You Find Out Your Ex Isn’t Over You
Finding out your ex still has feelings for you can be great news if you feel the same. This would also influence the next course of action to take.
There are two ways this can go:
- You ask your ex if you both could have a sit-down to discuss, seeing as there are still feelings on both sides.
Find out what he wants and if you want the same, decide if you both could give it another shot.
- You could also weigh the situation carefully to find out if getting back together would be a good idea. Your breakup must have been caused by some factors. While feelings are strong, be sure these are no longer in the picture or that they won’t be coming between you both again.
While love is great, it isn’t always enough. You don’t want to get back together to discover you still can’t be together.
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