13 Things to Know When Dating a Cop
Most people who are dating a cop or have dated one will find the relationship is not like the usual. Of course, there are the usual challenges and good times you will find with most other relationships. You, should, however, expect to be faced with a few extra challenges unique to this type of union.
So whether you met at a club or through a dating site, here are some key things you should know when dating a cop:
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13 Things to Know When Dating a Cop
The Strong Sense of Duty and Commitment
A good police officer has a strong sense of duty and is committed to keeping his society safe and sane. Actually, they took an oath to this effect and this all the more deepens the commitment they already would feel deep within.
Ordinarily, this commitment is a good quality and you’ll find it fills you with a sense of pride to be dating such an upright citizen. However, you should know that this same quality, while being a good one, can also have a slight downside.
His commitment to his work would come at a price, one you would have to keep on paying.
Cops work long hours, most of these irregular. Their unpredictable schedule can keep your man away from you more times than you are happy with.
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You Are Filled with Constant Anxiety
Dating a cop can leave constantly anxious over his safety. Each time he walks out that door you are filled with the anxiety and fear that he might not come back.
It’s worse if he works a beat that constantly puts him in harm’s way as he fights the bad guys. Even for a seasoned cop, the fear never really goes away and you’,all find it comes up every time he walks out that door until he walks right through the door at the end of the day.
He Could be Overprotective
It comes with the territory. Police officers are used to protecting the society and this quality can seep into his personal life.
It can be cute at first having someone look out for you, until it gets a little too too much. His over-protectiveness can get overbearing to the point where you start to feel choked.
A way around this though would be to communicate how you feel about this attitude and do so at a time when he isn’t too tired to hear what you say. This should be enough for him to tone it down a few notches. while
In communicating you might need to exercise some patience. While once should be enough to effect the changes you seek, you should be prepared to have this conversation a few times though. Your man could fall into old ways, since this is one quality that has been ingrained over time.
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Comes With Some Space
If you are someone that values your personal space and get crowded with the regular relationships, then dating a cop is for you.
His long hours away would be just what you need and when you finally see again, the long absence would add some sort of flavor to your relationship.
You Would Need Some Flexibility and Patience
Dating a cop also requires extra flexibility and patience from you. Your man won’t work the regular 9-5 work hours and the irregularities of his schedule can take some getting used to.
At the start of the relationship you could be on a date with him and he may get called in unexpectedly or have to work late. At first, this won’t be a problem. If anything, you are filled with admiration for his sacrifices. However, as your need for attention and affection continue to go unmet you could start getting disatisfied and even slightly frustrated.
Having a flexible mindset and being understanding about their demanding schedule, however, will help you navigate these challenges.
Constant Worrying about His Safety
If you have anxiety issues, even slightly, then dating a cop might pose a little extra challenge for you. The profession comes with ample risks and your partner is constantly in harm’s way. The regular risky and high-stress situations can take a toll on him. Dating a cop means building your mind beforehand to be with him. Being fearful won’t do. Instead, you want to be supportive and mindful of his safety.
You could show your support by offering a listening ear when he needs to talk. Talking is therapeutic and could be his chosen way to distress and decompress after a hard day.
More Privacy and Confidentiality Than Usual
Cops deal with a lot of sensitive stuff that have to be kept hush-hush. Dating a cop means respecting his need for privacy, and, no matter how badly you want to know, keep from prying into his affairs. This need for privacy exists for a reason and he could get into trouble if he broke it. Understanding the boundaries between his professional and personal life is crucial in fostering trust and maintaining a healthy relationship.
Communication will Go a Long Way
Good communication is the life force of any relationship and it is especially needed when dating a cop.
Communication here may need to be done a lot more by you:
- For one, you would have to voice out if at any time you start to get resentful of the amount of time his work is taking from you both. Keeping quiet about it would make things foster and snowball into a deep-sitted resentment.
- Secondly, the stress and traumatic nature of his work could get to him and he may need emotional support or space to process his experiences. Being a good listener when he needs to talk and providing a safe space for open communication at this time will help to strengthen your bond.
Extra Level of Independence from You
Dating a cop also means having a deeper level of independence than most. Getting used to his demanding schedule isn’t just necessary, you would need those feel those hours up to keep from being lonely.. Your man would be missing from most social events and family gatherings. If you aren’t mentally strong, seeing family members with their partners can make you start to question your union. It also doesn’t help that there will be that one family (sometimes more) member who will make it their business to point out your partner’s regular absence at events.
To guard against this, having a family who understands your partner’s situation is important. You also want to have pursuits, friends, and a life outside the relationship to help with the loneliness. This will also enable you to maintain a healthy balance and alleviate any feelings of frustration.
Respect His Need for Enforcing the law Always
His respect for authority and obsession with enforcing the law can seem a little too much sometimes, especially when it involves minor matters with no real laws broken and no one gets hurt.
Understanding, however, that police officers are used to enforcing authority even in seemingly unimportant things, is crucial. Also, you don’t just want to understand this but should also respect and appreciate his professional obligations.
Showing Appreciation for Their Sacrifices Goes a Long Way
You should let your partner know often how much you appreciate his sacrifices in maintaining law and order.
Your appreciation can be shown in several ways, from nice text messages you send to him to little, random gestures of kindness. Another good one is preparing his favorite meal on his days off and just giving him ample space to unwind if you notice he needs this.
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Be Prepared for Public Scrutiny
Cops are constantly in the eyes of the public under intense scrutiny and criticism and your man’s fate won’t be any different. While things will be fine most of the time, you also should be prepared to receive some negative comments or judgments from others. Standing by your partner at this point will go a long way.
Build a Network of Support
Dating a cop can get to be a lot emotionally. The demands your partner faces will also rub off on you one way or the other. Joining a support group of other cops’ wives and girlfriends; people who have a strong understanding of your situation and can trade concerns, experiences, and advice will bring some level of comfort your way.
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Conclusion:
If love finds you in the arms of a cop, then you definitely want to embrace it. Dating a cop can be a richly rewarding experience, but it’s important you understand what it entails so you are able to navigate the unique challenges that come with it. While the long, irregular hours, constant danger and anxiety, and frequent absences take some getting used to, the benefits of being with a cop far outweigh the cons.
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