10 Reasons Why You Attract Married Men
Knowing why you attract married men solves half the problem.
A lot of us have experienced this at some point in our lives. The thing is, try as you might, you just seemed to attract the wrong set of men to you. In this case, the problem is attracting married, unavailable men when you would much rather have young, eligible men approach you.
I remember this used to be my story before I settled down. I was a young, unmarried lady looking to mingle and in search of a steady relationship. I would go to events looking my best and hoping to get approached by young guys who caught my eyes. That wouldn’t happen though and I would instead get stopped by a car on my way back, with an elderly, pot-bellied man behind the wheels.
Like most women going through such, I felt there was something wrong somewhere. I concluded there must be a spiritual angle to the whole affair. It couldn’t be ordinary that about 95% of the guys who approached me were married, unavailable men. I felt I was cursed or something; someone somewhere must have placed a spiritual covering over me that kept single guys from seeing me, let alone approaching me.
I got desperate and this desperation made me search for solutions to my ‘problem’. I talked with fellow women like myself, some of whom I got to discover had a similar problem. I also talked to relationship experts and in the end, my findings will not only shock you, it also will amaze you.
Here are some common reasons why a woman attracts married men.
1.You are Too Much of a Challenge
Men love challenges, but put up too much of one and most guys will take a walk.
A lot of guys are not looking for a prize they have to win over. They are on the lookout for a mate who will compliment them, one they will share mutual happiness with. When you put up too much of a barrier or appear to, only married men in need of the validation they’ve still got game will come to you.
Being too much of a challenge can also come in the form of you appearing like you’ve got it all put together. Men are likely to interpret this as you having a lot of options and, not wanting to join the long string of guys vying for your affection, will look somewhere else.
2.You Happen to be at the Wrong Place at the Wrong Time
I also came to discover a lot of women find themselves in places or professions where they meet more married than single guys and this explains why they get hit on more by the former.
A friend who works as a marketer, gets to meet a lot of married men who hit on her a lot. She’s always at work, thereby limiting her chance of meeting single guys who will pick an interest in her.
It took a group of friends critically analyzing her situation before she accepted she wasn’t jinxed and was just a victim of her profession.
3.It’s Not You, It’s Him
You may also get hit on a lot by married men due to no fault of yours.
Let’s look at it this way: a man gets married to his college sweetheart who got knocked up along the way. He decides to make a decent woman of her since they’ve been together a while and she’s also a nice person.
While she might have a great personality, he probably doesn’t love her or fell out of love with her along the way.
Scenario two: a guy might have married the woman of his dreams who he loved and couldn’t live without. Along the line, the cares and challenges of marriage became too much for them to handle and now he’s having major issues with his marriage.
Yet another scenario, a man might have married a woman he had great sexual chemistry with. However, a year or two into the marriage, the chemistry fizzles out and he starts to seek this excitement outside.
In each of these scenarios, the problem isn’t with the lady who gets approached by the married man. For the first two scenarios, the man is probably unfulfilled in his marriage and seeks happiness in the arms of another.
While it might be almost impossible to discover if this is your case, you should know that married men coming to you is most times not your fault.
4.The 80/20 Rule
The 80/20 rule states that people choose to marry people who have 80% of qualities they look out for in a partner and then go out in search of the other 20 to complete them.
That married man who comes to you might have seen the 20% he seeks in you, hence his getting attracted to you.
5.You Act Too Independent
Another strong reason why you attract married men is that you act too independent. Quite a few young, single men get put off by ladies who are or act too independent. Men love being in charge and are created to be protectors. When you act too independent they fear you may end up not being submissive.
This will leave just the married folks coming to you since most times they want nothing lasting and you would pose as a challenge to them.
6.You Send Out a Signal You are Lonely, Vulnerable, and Unhappy
There have been ladies who see their single status like its a sentence and wear the look to go with it.
Men naturally have a radar to sniff out desperation and taking it a step higher by being so open about your single and lonely status will just scream desperation and scare off single guys.
7.You are Superficial or Materialistic
Who wants someone who isn’t real? No one, that’s who! We all try to avoid people we feel are fake or try too hard and the same applies to relationships. Men want women who are real and comfortable enough to be themselves.
Being fake will just freak him out and he’ll take off in the next direction.
Quite a few men also tend to avoid women who are too materialistic, especially if it seems her taste are way beyond his budget.
8.You are Successful
We all want to be successful, but being successful can also scare off some single men as a lot of them may not have attained your level of affluence.
It is not uncommon to hear such men say “This one that she has so much money, will she respect or submit to me?” Call them a little insecure, but that is the viewpoint of some of these single guys. And since most married men are more advanced agewise, they might have attained this level of success and would feel comfortable approaching you.
9.You Have an Unapproachable Personality
You may have a personality that screams “Don’t Come Close” and sadly, be unaware of it until one or two persons point this out to you.
This will intimidate and keep single guys away while married men and guys out to play games as a territory to be conquered.
10.You Unconsciously Pick Unavailable Men
Lastly, you may be attracting married men due to you subconsciously picking this type of unavailable men.
Women with this trait get attracted to men who clearly are unavailable. They have an Abandonment Complex and their radar always picks out men who are emotionally or physically unavailable and will leave them in the end.
So ladies, if you find yourself in this situation where you attract just married men, you might need to sit back, examine the situation to find out where and if you fall into one of these categories. Only then can you make the informed move to get out of that vicious cycle that keeps you buried in pain and misery.
It was liberating to find out my issue wasn’t because I had a spiritual problems, but because I displayed one of the reasons listed up here.
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