10 Marriage Advice to Give You a Lasting Marriage
The right marriage advice will give you a long, lasting marriage filled with love and fulfillment.
When I was getting married, I had a lot of people, both young and old walk up to me to give me marriage advice. Since I was desperate to make my new marriage work, I soaked up all the advice like a thirsty sponge soaking up water. However, over time, I discovered that like most advice given, there are those that will work greatly and those that won’t in all situations.
Notwithstanding, I listened to them all since they were given in good faith; the intent of making my marriage work like theirs were.
Of all the marriage advice I was given, these ten stood out and I’m going to be sharing them here and hope some (if not all), work in your life and marriage like they have in mine.
Ten Helpful Marriage Advice You Should Adopt
Marriage is a lot of hard work, but like most things in life, it can be mastered to achieve success.
Here are ten marriage advice for a happier marriage.
1.Your Spouse is Your Best Friend
This is the first marriage advice I received from a well-meaning aunt and one I embraced wholeheartedly. It also didn’t hurt that the advisor had a marriage that was worthy of emulation.
I knew I wanted that same aura of happiness and contentment this couple radiated and so, decided to adopt this marriage advice by making my husband one of my best friends. Hubby and I strive for a close relationship and are committed to seeing each other grow so we constantly share tips, secrets or ideas that would benefit the other.
2.Make Investments in Your Name Also
This marriage advice was given to me by yet another distant aunt and when she gave it, I couldn’t help but chuckle. However, she was stern in her warning for me to heed her advice.
You see, she had been burnt in her marriage and so, took to advising young ladies so they don’t make the same mistakes.
She’d bought properties jointly with her husband and when the marriage went south several years later, was thrown out of the marriage penniless. It didn’t help her case that marriage and culture in this part of the world (Africa) heavily favours men and a woman could lose out in more ways than one if she left her marriage or was left.
Her advice therefore, was that a woman should make investments in her name, especially property investments, and ensure your full name (first name, middle name, and surname) is documented in the receipt.
On the other hand, if buying properties jointly, ensure your name also appears in full on the receipt. For instance, instead of documenting Mr and Mrs Zuckerberg, make it Mr Mark and Mrs Priscilla Zuckerberg as there could be a new Mrs Zuckerberg in future.
3.Don’t Deny Him His Marital Rites
I have tried to uphold this marriage advice as best I can, however, there have been those few occasions when being intimate that way was the last thing on my mind. I was spent from the day’s work, or had a few things bugging me and I couldn’t give my husband what he wanted even if I tried.
However, at such times, I have lovingly explained why intimacy couldn’t happen (the same way he’s had with me) and tried to make up later when I could.
4.Don’t Bring a Third Party into Your Marriage
While this is helpful advice, it doesn’t work for me and my marriage would have crumbled a while back if I’d adhered to it.
However, third parties have been known to bring more conflict than they’ve solved on more than one occasion and you should turn to them at your discretion.
More Helpful Marriage Tips…
5.Never Go to Bed Angry
This is just a textbook marriage advice and I can bet there is no couple who’s ever completely upheld it.
I have gone to bed angry with my husband not just overnight, but a few days in a role. As individuals with differing views and values, we won’t always see issues in the same light and this can lead to conflicts.
However, even though my hubby and I have those moments we have strongly disagreed with each other, we would always rehash the issue much later and this always made us stronger.
6.Have Your Own Savings as woman
Again, this is one marriage advice that is subjective. For a lot of couple, especially those in the western world, there likely might never arise the need for a woman to have her own money. The money is jointly held and in the event the couple ever splits, the money would be split both ways.
However, for countries where a woman stands to lose out when a marriage ends, this marriage tip would come in handle and might even save you a lot of stress.
You should start to build up a saving that can be put to good use (like an investment) much later.
7.Be His Number One Fan
I am my husband’s number one fan and part of being his fan is always being committed to his success and being truthful with him, no matter what.
If he is on the right path, then I sing his praise to the heavens (which he loves, by the way). In the same vein, I don’t keep quiet when he’s wrong and still stubbornly pushing through but would give him grief (since gentle words didn’t work) until he changed his ways.
This is one marriage advice I didn’t knowingly adopt when it was given, but found myself unconsciously practising it and it has helped me greatly in the four years I have been married.
8.Never Hurl Abusive Words at Each Other, No Matter How Angry You Are
I was once called Margaret Thatcher (a name I’m not proud of) as I was quiet strict with a very caustic tongue. That name got to me and made me decide to change ways. However, there are those very rare occasions when I get upset and want to pour my heart out in words.
I don’t do that though, since I know how powerful words are.
I was given this marriage tip during marriage counselling (which all intending couples go through in this part of the world). In the words of the marriage counsellor:
” Words are like an egg, which shatters once it hits the floor and you can never get it back together again.”
This has been my watchword; one that has helped me greatly over the years.
9.You are a Team, Build Together
Two are stronger than one and when you build together, you win faster.
An acquaintance of mine who’d been married six years gave me this marriage advice on my wedding day.
According to him, couples who competed with each other are missing out on one of the secrets of attaining quick success in marriage. They would never achieve the same amount of success a couple who works together would, even if given the same time duration.
A couple is meant to complement each other; you are strong where he is weak while his strength will also cover your weak areas, that way you can both overcome whatever hurdles come your way.
10.Keep the Fire Burning Always
This is one marriage tip I don’t joke with as I know how important it is to the survival and growth of any marriage.
My marriage almost crumbled in the second year because my husband and I were too busy pursuing our different goals to spare time for something as ‘mundane’ as romance.
It took the intervention of my father-in-law (who saw the bricks falling off one after the other) to make us see the errors of our ways and make the necessary adjustments.
Romance is a vital part of marriage, especially a marriage that has gone on for a while. Overtime, you can become so used to seeing this person around, they become more like a sibling instead of a spouse.
However, making the conscious effort to keep the fire burning will keep things in perspective and see your marriage succeeding.